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- 5 Important Reasons Why We Need Friends
Be with those who support your being. Rumi The greatest gift you can give is to show someone else their highest value. We have often come across the adage—A person is known by the company they keep. Almost every language on planet earth has some equivalent to this proverb. This is a clear indication of how important it is to choose the right friends. We could extrapolate this statement and say that it is essential to choose the right kind of people to be around. Friendship has changed drastically in modern times. No more is it about having people physically present around you to qualify as friends; in fact, people who you have never met could have a lasting friendship with you. The Internet has drastically changed how the world perceives friendship. Humans Are Social Creatures We cannot live in solitude. We must live in the company of other people. People who live in desolation are considered aberrant, and the world does not take to them kindly. At the same time, people who live in the company of others do not always know how they can make the most of it. Human beings are often described as social creatures. We are almost never found alone, and even when we are physically alone, we are constantly thinking about other people in our lives. When was the last time you thought of a plan that did not include anyone else? When was the last time you had a dream in which there were no other people but you? Everything that we do consciously or otherwise has people in it. That is the way nature has ordained us to be. From the point that we are born till our last breath, we want people to be around us. Maybe the only time in our lives when we do not want people to be with us is when we are sleeping, but even that is not entirely true. The most impressive thing about this socialness of our behavior is that we can induce habits in other people. The way we live—the social part of our living—influences other people whether we want that to happen or not. It brings about a change in their lives, however small that might be. We are the sum of the people we live with. They are our identifiers; the whole concept of individual identity is a myth. Our identities are so closely connected with the people we live with that we cannot talk about it in absolute terms. Think about it. Don’t people in our home do things for us, and in the process, develop their own habits? A mother who gets up early to prepare her son’s school lunch is altering her habit because of her son. If you wait for someone to go to the gym, you are changing your habit according to their routine. Don’t even get me started about the relationships of love where people change themselves for each other so dramatically that there is no concept of individuality at all. We need people around us to help us. We need them to do small and big tasks, and we do things for them as well. We need people to live with us. We need people to share our thoughts and ideas with. We need people to go to work with, to study with, to exercise with. These are things we do not do alone. Whether we accept it or not, at every living instant of our day, we are doing things with others in mind. You work for money, but at the end of the day, you know that whatever it is you are selling is needed by someone. Businesses would not have existed on earth if we had not been social beings. Friendship is just a tiny part of being social; it is just one aspect. But in the 21st Century, the implication of friendship has become much broader. It is no longer necessary that “a friend in need is a friend indeed.” The definition has gone beyond ‘need’; friendship is now the epitome of our very lives. Why You Need Friends Why do we need friends after all? Why should we put in the effort to make friends and then make more effort to retain them? Some people think in a business-like manner about this. If they invest in creating and keeping friends, what are they getting at the end of the day? Are the returns commensurate with the ‘investment’? Let us look at what Maslow had to say. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a significant theory in psychology, which was postulated by the noted American psychologist Abraham Maslow. In the five tiers of these needs, the third one is the social needs of belongingness and love that comes after physiological and safety needs. This level of the hierarchy outlines the need for friendship, intimacy, family, and love. Humans have the need to give and receive love; to feel like they belong in a group. At this level, human behavior is formed from the desire for emotional or interpersonal connections. We all know that human beings are sociable animals that enjoy belonging to a group and exchanging ideas about what is important in life with those around us. In one way or another, it fosters a sense of community. People join social networks, communities, informal groups, and other social spaces because of the things they have in common. In order to develop friends, one must have a strong desire to form close relationships with others. Humans, according to Maslow, exchange love, affection, and a sense of belonging in order to combat feelings of isolation, fear, and depression. Friendship, social activities, familial ties, social networks, and professional associations can all help you meet these needs. A great significance of social needs of love, affection, and belongingness is sound mental health. Friends Are Our Emotional Support and Anchor One of the most significant reasons why we want friends is because they support us emotionally. Outside our family, who do we go to if we are exceptionally happy or exceptionally sad? Whom do we want to tell when we are angry about something? Whom do we like to share our secrets with? It is with our friends. If you have friends, you will realize how important they are to your life. Our friends know what we want; especially the ones who have spent a long time with us know precisely what reactions a particular thing can evoke in us. It is because of this reason that they can comfort us when we are despondent and celebrate with us when we are happy. They know what can cheer us up when we are feeling low and what can make us miserable. We need that kind of support. We cannot live a lonely life. You may have understood that already if you have had to live alone somewhere in a new place or, if you have ever relocated, you will have felt what I am talking about. Although there are several people around us wherever we go, having just one friend can make things so much easier. Friends Are Our Company We are social beings, and for that reason, we need to be with people most of the time. However, strangers won’t do. We eventually try to make friends with strangers too—and that is the point of this article—but the truth is that if we have an already existing friend to help us, it can make a lot of difference. We need friends to be with us on all kinds of occasions. Even if it is a small thing, like company for going to a movie, we want our friends. If you are feeling lonely, what do you do? You call some friends up and hang out with them. This is how we are made. We feel comfortable with the people we have spent time with. This ties in with something I said earlier, we form habits in people. When we are with our friends, who have been with us for a long time, we have developed some habits in them. They have formed some habits in us too. It is because of this reason that we like being with them. We feel comfortable and at ease when we are with our friends. Friends Give Us Courage A significant part of our courage in life comes from the friends we have. Our friends are great people; they know us precisely well, and for that reason, they know how to encourage us. True friends will stay with us through whatever we do. They will give us their support and help us with their physical contribution as well. Most importantly, just being there gives us a lot of courage. We feel motivated to go on. When we are alone, it becomes challenging to achieve things, but with someone loyal to support us, things become very different. We can elevate our potential and reach greater heights of glory just because someone was with us. Most people who have become successful in life have become so because they had people to support them, or they influenced people enough to support them in their efforts. In effect, these people already had good friends, or they made friends on the way. But whichever way they went about it, the gist is that they needed to have friends. They understood the importance of having friends and stuck with them. Their friends proved to be a significant contributor to their success. Friends Help Us to Discover Ourselves Outside the family, friends are the only people whom we can open up to. We do not mind speaking about our innermost thoughts to our friends. We tell them what irks us; we tell them what makes us happy. If there is something that has not gone down well with us, we can tell them. We can tell them of our lean times and our best times. It is when we share so many things about ourselves with our friends that we truly start to discover ourselves. When we are telling our friends things, subconsciously, these things are also playing in our minds. We are reinforcing our likes and dislikes, the lessons we have learned, the emotions we feel, and so on. We are telling ourselves what we are like. By simply exchanging our thoughts with our friends, we get to know ourselves in a better way. That is how friends can help us in rediscovering ourselves. This gives us a powerful sense of self-expectancy and self-sufficiency. We know what we are about, and we can play to our strengths. That is why, just by being with our friends and exchanging things with them, we can go a long way in our lives. Friendships Keep Us Healthy Friendship can be a fantastic prescription to all forms of emotional and physical pain. In fact, according to some medical experts, friendship can boost a person’s sense of purpose and belonging. It is also said to increase one’s happiness, decrease stress, enhance self-worth, and assist in coping with traumas, like serious illness, divorce, loss of employment, or death of a person’s loved one. That is why it is not surprising that a lot of people value their friends and usually turn to them during times of trial, even before relatives or spouses. The benefits of emotional health you acquire from your friends also affect your physical health. Based on some studies, social interactions can help you ease stress levels that can potentially harm the arteries of your heart, insulin regulation, immune system, and gut function. In addition to this, having your friends around can also improve your immune system and can encourage you to recuperate from a devastating injury. To simply state, having good friends can do well for your health. Staying up to date with friendships can be difficult, especially in our adult years when family and work are usually more of a priority, yet, for a more fulfilling, happy, and longer life, it is definitely worth your effort. Even though the benefits of friendship come naturally, usually, finding a friend does not. It can be challenging to find people that have similar values and interests. This is particularly true during the stage of adulthood, where responsibilities such as education, family, and career can significantly restrict your social life. That is why, if you have true friends, keeping a regular connection with them should be a priority. Having friends around is very beneficial. Friendship is one of the most significant relationships a person can have, so make sure you keep the friendships you presently have, especially the good ones. These are just a few of the most important reasons why we need friends. Speaking from experience, everyone has their reasons for having friends. You will have your reasoning as well. Also, we have different reasons for needing friends at various stages of our life. When we are children, we need someone to play with and share our studies with. When we are in college, we need someone to hang out with. When we grow older, we need people for a varied number of reasons. So, our expectations from our friends change as we keep growing. But, one thing remains, we need friends at every stage in our life. We cannot do without them and, the more friends we have, the merrier we are. Visit my Free Resources page to download the checklist: A 10-Step Checklist to Make and Keep New Friends
- Studies Say Clutter in the Home is Linked to Childhood Trauma
"Our environments are a physical representation of our lives. When we are in chaos, so are our homes, workspaces, and cars," Kate Ecke Are you living in clutter? The way you keep your space – your house and business – is one of the least-discussed symptoms of CPTSD. Extreme organization and meticulous cleanliness – or messy and unorganized – are two possible outcomes. We can draw connections between our past dysfunctional relationships and our current toxic relationships in each of these scenarios. You can learn a lot about yourself by paying greater attention to how you organize or disorganize your surroundings. Author Tisha Morris refers to clutter as "stagnant energy." She says, "where there's clutter in your home, there will be clutter in [you] — either physically, mentally or emotionally." According to studies, clutter (a lot of it) in the home has been linked to past experiences of significant loss or trauma. You are not alone if you have an excessive amount of clutter in your home. You aren't a loser. What happened to you left you with a scar. You will begin to address the clutter as you handle the trauma from your past. Starting with the clutter will paralyze you since the shame is real and profound. Most people won't think it's a problem if survivors are obsessively clean and orderly unless it reaches the degree of OCD. Today, though, we'll talk about the clutter and how it can be a symptom of CPTSD, as well as some strategies you can use to help yourself. Why We Have Clutter There are a plethora of reasons why we have clutter. Uncontrollable consumer impulses, emotional sentiments, memories, worry about future need, guilt or obligation, and hope for a future change are only a few of the most common. We tend to imbue our possessions with emotion since we are emotional beings. We consider these objects to be a part of us or an extension of ourselves in many ways. While our belongings may not all be cherished friends of old, they do tend to say a lot about us. Jessie Sholl, a writer for the health website ExperienceLife.com, proposes that "different kinds of clutter signify different emotional messages." If your clutter is made up of other people's belongings, for example, you most likely have boundary issues. If most of your clutter consists of mementos from your past, you may have difficulty letting go, forgiving, or feeling that your finest days are behind you. If you're hoarding unused stuff, you're probably afraid of the future or wish you were someone you're not. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? Morris says, "a lot of times, that stems from perfectionism — it will never be good enough, not perfect enough, so they just won't finish it." Unfinished projects serve as reminders that we have fallen short of our goals. It's depressing and unattractive. Another cause for clutter (or a messy home) could be that we're in a toxic relationship. We often feel stuck, sluggish, or just plain tired because the other person dictates our cleaning schedule or makes us feel out of control, provoked. Our dwellings are a reflection of our mental state. The Effects of Clutter Dysregulation from Stress Clutter's most evident psychological effect is stress; therefore, it should come as no surprise that it influences our health. Dr. Rick Hanson, author, and speaker explains how cortisol can result in actual structural changes to our brain that cause long-term sensitivity to stress. "Cortisol goes into the brain and stimulates the alarm center, the amygdala. And kills neurons in the hippocampus, which, besides doing visual/spatial memory, also calms down the amygdala and calms down stress altogether. So, this mental experience of stress, especially if it's chronic and severe, gradually changes the structure of the brain. So, we become aggressively more sensitive to stress." Being stressed regularly causes your brain's physical structure to change, making it even more sensitive to stress. This is made worse by the fact that those of us with CPTSD already have a dysregulated brain. Poor Health A cluttered home environment might trigger a low-grade fight or flight response, putting our survival resources to the test. This response can cause physical and psychological changes that damage our ability to fight illness and digest food and increase our risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease. According to other studies, being in a cluttered area makes you twice as likely to consume a chocolate bar rather than an apple. Finally, overweight people are 77 percent more likely to have a cluttered home. The cleanliness of one's home is a predictor of one's physical wellness. According to another study, people who lived in cleaner homes were more active and had better physical health. Feelings of Inadequacy or Shame Clean homes, especially in women's homes, are a sign of "having it together." As a result, cluttered environments might lead to low self-esteem, and disorganized living quarters have been connected to depression. What you surround yourself with confirms your preconceived ideas about whether or not you've got it all together. It represents what you're willing to put up with, what you believe you're worthy of experiencing in your life. Anxiety and Poor Coping Mechanisms Clutter might make us feel anxious and disrupt our sleep, and it can also make us less productive by inducing coping and avoidance behaviors that lead to us snacking on junk food and watching TV programs. According to research, our physical surroundings substantially impact our cognition, emotions, and subsequent behavior. Clutter has been linked to bad eating habits in research studies. In one study, participants in disorganized and dirty kitchen conditions ate twice as many cookies as in an orderly kitchen environment. Impairs Brain Function Disorganization and clutter, according to research, have a cumulative effect on our minds. Our brains like order and repeated visual reminders of disorganization deplete our cognitive resources, making it difficult to concentrate. Clutter's visual distraction causes cognitive overload and can impair working memory. Relationship Problems Clutter could also have an impact on our interpersonal interactions. Background clutter, for example, caused participants in a 2016 US study to be less able to correctly understand the emotional expressions on the faces of movie characters. Sleep Disturbances Surprisingly, it persists even after we retire to our beds. People who sleep in messy rooms are more likely to experience sleep issues, such as trouble falling asleep and being awakened throughout the night. Signs Your Clutter is Out of Control Let's talk about what it looks like to have clutter issues for those of us who aren't sure whether we have one. Clutter is a problem if: • You are informed (or you say) that you have "too much stuff" • You are embarrassed to bring visitors into your home because of clutter • Because of all the "stuff" you have, you feel stuck and unable to clean or arrange. • You have a strong emotional connection to some of the house's possessions – specific things or collections • Because of the mess, you waste a lot of time. • You have stacks or overloaded shelves/drawers – perhaps even a room that you never let people inside because of the mess. • You want to declutter but are having problems deciding what to get rid of. • Although you have no more space to put things, you purchase more items — you keep shopping. • You become so overwhelmed that you rent a storage unit to store your belongings. • Clutter is causing you problems at home, at work, or in your relationships. • You have cluttered sections in your home that are unworkable. • You don't have a "place for everything," you don't always put "everything in its place." Why We Can't Let Go Your house is a physical manifestation of your mind and soul. The majority of individuals hold on to clutter because it holds some emotional value for them. Things are kept for sentimental reasons. A broken toy, for example, can still stay in the closet since it was the final thing a loved one gave them before they died. As a result, the owner associates love with the toy. We may save items because we believe we may need them in the future. We may retain things because they make us feel safe or in charge in some way. Some of us even have "organized clutter" — a plethora of boxes and bins, all perfectly labeled and stacked, none of which we will ever use or require. One of the reasons so many people struggle to let go of things, both physical and emotional, is that the decluttering process may be complicated and overwhelming when viewed as its whole. In any event, we may think of clutter as additional weight in our lives: it's overwhelming and seems hard to lose, but if we start small, we'll be able to lose both the weight and the clutter. When we learn to control our clutter, we often learn to control our weight as well. The solution will not appear overnight, but we can take steps to improve our lives and change our ways. You're probably already aware that clutter might make you feel irritated and leave you with less free time to enjoy life. We're well aware that it can disrupt our social lives and generate a slew of other problems. The Key to Letting Go and Decluttering Mindfulness can assist you in removing clutter by allowing you to focus on one area or issue at a time that needs to be addressed. You'll be able to simplify your life by keeping what you need and letting go of what you don't. Concentrate entirely on the things that are important to you. You can reduce stress by adopting mindfulness to help you clean out the clutter. Things we hold and feelings we refuse to let go of might serve as reminders of what once was. You may believe that you will not have to deal with issues if you don't address them. However, clutter lingers, and you are aware of it subconsciously. You'll be able to retain a better ability to focus in all areas of your life if you let mindfulness help you organize your life. When you let go of things, you'll feel better emotionally. You'll also be able to find items when you need them, rather than looking and being frustrated when you can't. Furthermore, you will save money by not purchasing items that you already own. One of the most significant advantages of utilizing mindfulness to declutter is that it does more than provide you extra space in your house or business. It enables you to let go of mental and emotional baggage, allowing you to develop your mindfulness. To get the best results, go over each aspect of your life one by one and clean out the clutter. Solutions for Clearing Out the Clutter Don't feel embarrassed; seek assistance! Pay someone to come over and help you get things sorted if you can afford it. Recruit your children or offer to help a friend tidy their home in exchange for their assistance in decluttering yours. It can be intimidating, and having a second pair of hands can make all the difference. Take small measures at first. We'll talk about a strategy for getting organized in part two of this series. You don't have to do everything at once, but if you move through the steps as you have time, your home will be clutter-free in no time. Give yourself thirty minutes a day to focus on the clutter if you've always found it challenging since you think the task is too enormous. You'll discover that breaking down a job makes it easier to complete. Our surroundings are a feedback loop. We construct our clutter around psychological elements such as impulses, sentiments, memories, fear, guilt, or an idealized vision of oneself. The clutter then causes negative psychological impacts such as worry, self-doubt, poor attention span and focus, and unwanted behavior, all of which drive us to buy additional "comfort items" or clutch even closer to the ones we already have. If you want to develop something or advance in some aspect of your life, the first step should be to clean up your environment. Make sure that your surroundings support the energy and transformation you desire to experience.
- Living Well: Environmental Wellness
“Environment is everything so, choose your friends wisely.” Environmental wellness covers a wide range of topics. It involves a place to live, our health and safety, our community's, and our planet's health and safety. What you see every day in your home, office, or community, as well as the resources available to you, can have an impact on your health. You don't always get to choose what's in the places where you live, work, or play. Environmental wellness also entails reducing the harmful effects of some elements on your health. Making simple changes to your environment and reducing your exposure to potentially dangerous substances can help you stay healthier. Definition of Environmental Wellness Environmental wellbeing entails feeling safe, comfortable, and connected to your physical surroundings, as well as participating actively in your community. It involves thinking about how your surroundings, your community, and yourself interact. In this realm, wellness begins with your immediate surroundings. Your mental condition, emotional wellbeing, and productivity are all influenced by your personal space. Environmental wellness refers to maintaining good health by spending time in pleasant, stimulating surroundings that promote happiness. We feel more at ease and less anxious when our environments are well-maintained, tidy, and organized. Everyone can have a solid environmental conscience by simply increasing their knowledge and implementing features that make their surroundings more pleasing. Environmental health encompasses your own space and larger communities, geographic areas, and the entire planet. Environmental wellness is a process that includes understanding and contributing to the planet's health. This entails adopting a sustainable lifestyle, safeguarding natural resources, and reducing pollution and waste. Importance of Environmental Wellness It does not require you to join a cause or group, but it does urge you to adopt environmental-friendly habits. You will be able to see how your daily habits affect the environment once you become environmentally conscious. Improving this aspect of wellbeing is straightforward and leads to a more balanced existence. Being environmentally conscious improves your health while also ensuring the health of our communities and the world as a whole. What are other signs of environmental wellness? Being aware of the impact of your decisions on the environment Working with your community to make improvements Caring for the environment by following the four R's (reduce, re-use, re-think, recycle) Being aware of risks in various settings (going out at night, traveling to new places) Leading a lifestyle that is respectful of and in harmony with your environment Recognizing the need to keep a healthy personal environment How To Create Environmental Wellness A healthy personal environment includes: Surrounding yourself with people and things that you find positive and inspiring Participating in your community Caring for personal belongings and maintaining comfortable working and living spaces Living Space Examine the extent of your living area. What appeals to you, and what irritates you? Make a list of simple, concrete improvements you could make to your place. You could, for example, remove clutter, add color, or bring in more light. Paying attention to any pollutants or chemicals that enter your home is also part of creating a healthy and happy living space. Learn more about the chemicals in your cleaning goods and cosmetics and eliminate any potentially dangerous substances from your house. Consider where you could decrease your exposure to probable allergens if you have seasonal or environmental allergies. Finally, a joyful living area is safe. Take any required precautions to increase your home's sense of security. Your Corner of the World Take a break from your busy day to take in your surroundings. This may be done anywhere, but it's even better if you do it in your favorite tranquil spot. As you go about your daily activities, you can find small pockets of peace. Find a bench or patio that you like as you go about. Take a seat and take a minute to breathe. When you're inside, pick your favorite window and take a moment to zone out. If possible, designate a unique area in your home as your own personal sanctuary. The Environment Environmental wellness is recognizing your connection to the state of the earth and living more in peace with nature. Consider how you can beneficially help the environment. Minor adjustments add up, so don't overlook the small things you can do, such as recycling more or bringing your coffee mug. Making a positive impact on the environment is beneficial to both the environment and your health. Your Community Find small ways to make a significant difference in your community to improve your environmental wellness and feeling of meaning or purpose. Starting right where they live, everyone can make the world a better place. Bring a garbage bag and go on a walk around your neighborhood, picking up trash. Outside your door, put some potted plants and a hummingbird feeder. Find volunteer help to make your town a better place if you have the resources to go bigger. People in Your Home You want to feel calm, comfortable, and welcomed when you get home from a long day at work or school. The physical location is simply a tiny component of the overall experience. Your relationships with the individuals there also influence your comfort at home and environmental wellness. Having roommates has a lot of positive benefits. These are folks with whom you should form a strong bond and get to know on a personal level. Roommates can become lifetime pals when things are going well. Living with others, whether roommates or family, has its own set of difficulties too. Sharing a living, working, and the socializing environment with someone else can be difficult. Treating your roommate and their belongings with respect is a solid rule of thumb. Keep an open mind to new ideas and ways of doing things, and use your differences to create a pleasant experience. Other ways to enhance environmental wellness: Protect yourself and others from environmental hazards such as noise, air and water pollution, second-hand smoke Be aware of risks in your surroundings Walk or ride your bike (weather permitting) whenever possible Recycle and reduce waste Conserve energy by using energy-efficient light bulbs and appliances Print less. Try reading online or sharing reading materials with classmates Eat locally produced food Visit local farmers markets Save water. Turn off the water when brushing your teeth, shaving, or scrubbing the dishes Use a reusable coffee cup, water bottle, and lunch container Unplug and turn off electronics and turn down the heat at home, school, and work Purchase products in bulk when possible to reduce packaging waste Use reusable bags or paper bags when shopping Use toxic-free cleaning materials and personal care products Stop your junk mail Snip your six-pack rings – Six-pack holders are virtually invisible underwater, so marine animals can't avoid them. Seagulls sometimes strangle themselves by catching one loop around their neck while another loop gets snagged on a stationary object. Before you toss six-pack holders into the garbage, snip each circle with a pair of scissors. When you're on the beach, pick up any six-pack rings you find, cut them, and put them in a trash can. Join an environmental organization Educate yourself on environmental issues Improving environmental wellbeing is straightforward and leads to a more balanced way of life. Environmental wellbeing includes our interactions with the world and nature and our interactions with our immediate surroundings. We feel more at ease and less anxious when our surroundings are well-maintained, tidy, and organized. Create a sense of security, comfort, and connection with your surroundings. What is one small thing you can do to increase your environmental wellness?
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- About Me | HTS
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- My Story | HTS
About Me My Story For Those Who Have Survived Childhood Trauma and Refuse to Settle for Anything Less Than an Extraordinary Life I work with women entrepreneurs who want to own their healing, own their life, and design their future. I understand. I hear you. I see you. Your trauma is valid. The impact from past abuse and neglect is alive inside of you today, here, now. I see your struggle to maintain your external sense of togetherness as your inner world wants to crumble. I've lived it, and I lost it all too many times. By applying complementary approaches and techniques, we'll work together to unearth long-standing perceptions and behavior patterns that may be holding you back from experiencing a more fulfilling and meaningful life. My goal is to help you uncover your true potential. While we can't change past difficult situations, we can work together to better understand and process them so that they no longer have a stronghold on your future. How to Stop Suffering from Complex PTSD and Start Living Joyfully in the Present. "Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." Brene Brown Hi. I'm Crystal Kormos, a CPTSD recovery specialist, and a survivor. My message comes from my mess. Change is possible. In fact, transformation is possible when we remove the mental and emotional blocks, Peel off the outer layers, and take a long hard look at the fundamental forces driving our behavior. I am a survivor of complex trauma and abuse who began my healing journey at 23. I am using my journey of recovery and healing to help others and help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged, and enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life-changing and produces complex adults. The symptoms of childhood trauma due to growing up in an abusive alcoholic home showed up through my own substance abuse, which I no longer enact. I still see its effects on the struggles I have with mental health, intimacy, and self-esteem. When it comes to love, it results in frustrating and unfulfilling behavior, like giving myself to people who can't give back. I left home at the earliest opportunity; at the age of 18, I moved in with my then-boyfriend, who was 11 years older than me. In my mid-twenties, I was diagnosed with depression after a suicide attempt. I was confused and in a pit of despair. I couldn't accept the responsibility for the situations that I got myself into, and I made excuses and pointed the finger at everything and everyone in an attempt to feel better about myself. However, pointing fingers at others and blaming my circumstances on 'bad luck' just intensified my negative emotions. I tried to distract myself with drugs, food, alcohol, sex, and work to gain some semblance of control over my life. It was when I was admitted to the hospital that I finally decided that things had to change. I couldn't keep traveling down the path of destruction I was on. I got serious about my recovery as an adult child of an alcoholic and became consciously aware of my behavior's consequences. I cultivated a love for self-development when a friend introduced me to Alanon (a twelve-step program for people living with or dealing with an alcoholic) and CoDA (Co-dependency Anonymous). Gradually, I began to make new empowering decisions that freed me from the self-destructive patterns. Seemingly I was doing all the right things, working on my recovery, working a job, friends, and eventually marriage, but nothing relieved the turmoil inside me. In my early thirties, motherhood arrived accidentally, but I loved it and was terrified all simultaneously. Doctors threw a bunch of medications at symptoms of anxiety, depression, migraines, and more. Medications helped with symptoms but didn't get to the root of the problem. Perhaps you feel like I did for much of my childhood and early adulthood: entirely consumed by depression, self-doubt, chronic pain, and an inability to dream. CPTSD crippled my ability to thrive. Trauma is held in the body and leads to long-term, adverse outcomes: emotional maladaptation, chronic illness, chronic pain, addiction, mental illness, general life difficulties, and re-traumatization. Once I learned about how the brain worked and discovered new ways to deal with past trauma, I could free myself and feel fully alive. Never did I think I'd be where I am today. Throughout my life, I have searched for knowledge on how to identify personal fulfillment, improve health and wellness, develop a healthy sense of self, and maintain momentum for personal transformation. The methods I use unearths trauma in a non-confrontational and supportive way, guiding clients to connect to their inner wisdom and inner child. By leveraging the deep connection with the body and inner truth, profound transformation results. Ultimately, the goal with every client is not only to heal but to awaken to your authentic self and live a fulfilling life. I hope you will find a sense of hope and possibility here. So, if you're frustrated by your inability to make a change in your habits, if you're tired of feeling anxious, if you long for a sense of peace and freedom, don't look for the next aspirin to dull your headache. Instead, consider addressing the hidden causes of your pain and using your stress and anxiety as an impetus to change your life radically. Now is the time. It's not all about the past! Dreaming up your own personally fulfilling, meaningful future will do wonders for healing and growth. If you want to get help, reach me here or book an appointment. 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